Transform your life today with these two methods to form lasting labits!
I vividly recall a conversation I had at the dinner table around this time last year. Everybody was discussing their plans and resolutions for the upcoming year, when someone said the most dangerous words for anyone seeking personal growth: "I'm really going to change next year"… Coming the new year, guess what didn’t happen?
Change is hard, extremely hard. So let’s look at something that can make it a bit easier for you.
Habit Stacking: connect your new habits to a habit you already do on a daily basis.
I have one addiction behavior that occurs multiple times a day. Drinking coffee.1
For a long time, I suffered from near-constant upper back pain. What helped me greatly was yoga, or stretching overall. However, as with most things that are known to be good for you, I didn’t do enough yoga to make a lasting difference.2
Everything changed when I combined it with my coffee craving; Every time I pressed the button on the coffee machine, I used the time it takes for the machine to heat up to walk to my designated stretching area and do two stretches for 30 seconds. For the last year, and for the first time in my adult life, I’m free of back pain, which is a game changer for my mood, motivation, and generally for my quality of life.
To benefit from the ‘Habit stacking’ method, simply ask yourself:
What habit (good or bad) do you already have that you can stack a new behavior on top of?
Let’s say you too would like to do more yoga, or at least some stretching. Well, let’s walk through a hypothetical day of yours and see where we can patch that new habit onto.
Maybe you are not as much of a coffee junkie as I am. That’s Ok, I’m not judging you (Totally judging you… I mean, how can a sane person not like coffee…? - just kidding). However, I’m guessing (hoping), that for example- at some point in the morning you are brushing your teeth. Great, now right after that you can do a quick 30 seconds stretch. Why so little? You want the entry burden to be ridiculously low. That way you are making it easy for your change-avoiding-brain to stick with it long enough to form a lasting habit3.
So pick one, or two stretching exercises (or whatever it is you want to do), and do them right after you are done brushing. Once you hit a one-month streak you can add another exercise and slowly increase the duration. If it’s hard for you to remember it in the beginning, and you catch yourself skipping the new habit, why not put a reminder on your bathroom mirror or on the bathroom door? Any place that is clearly visible and in close proximity to the behavior you want to attach it to… And this brings me to the next system you can make use of.
Setting reminders and putting nudges in strategic places.
This system requires a little more preparation than the first one but it is easier to stick with because you don’t have to rely on your memory alone.4
Figure out what object you deal with, or what place you pass multiple times a day. Unfortunately, the most handled object will probably be the evil-attention-sucking phone… But why not turn it around, and use its power for good? That’s exactly what I did:
I ordered the phone cover in the picture below, and a bunch of plain business cards, and put some in my phone case. Personally, I use them to write down five good things about my day. However, you can use them to write down the new habit(s) you want to implement.
Every time you open your phone, they will look at you, nudging you to get to it.
Let’s say you want to do more of the following three things: exercise, learn a new language, and read. Great, now take three plain business cards. Write down what you want to do on each card, and put them in the pocket of your phone cover or someplace visible. During the day, your goal is to: look at the cards, do the activity on one of the cards, and put it behind the other cards so that the next one is already staring at you.
With these two new tools at your disposal there is only one question left to answer:
How many new habits should you try to install at the same time? For me, the magic number is either one big one or three small ones. More is impossible - at least for me. The one big one should ideally be done in the morning, so nothing can get in the way of accomplishing it. You can read bout why the first hours of the morning are so important here. The three small ones can be more spread throughout the day, as long as they do actually happen and you don’t skip them very often. One time is ok but try not to miss out two days in a row.
Here is a quick recap:
stack the new habit to an old one (brushing teeth, drinking coffee, etc…)
use business cards or notes in strategic places as a reminder
don’t change too much at the same time, and start ridiculously low
bonus: If you can’t shake a bad behavior, at least combine it with something good
Change is hard, and your willpower is limited. Make it easy for you, and free up your brain for more important decisions.
Until then, have a successful day
GNF
If you have any questions, feel free to use the comment section below, or answer this email. I read every email myself and try to respond quickly.
I have switched to decaf and only drink two real coffees a day so don’t worry about my health but thank you so much for caring about me.
Interestingly you only need to static stretch a muscle 10 times a week for about 30 seconds to create results.
On average, it takes around two months, or 66 days, to form a habit. it is of course, completely individual and can take anywhere between 18 and 250 days. I find that my sweet spot is around 60 days for physical habits and around 100 days for mental habits. but the more I train my brain for habit formation, the easier and faster is it for me to create more of them.
If you’ve been a long-time reader this won’t sound entirely new to you because I mentioned it here